Oops he’s done it again. Instead of acting like a grown up and getting a car service after being over-served in Sag Harbor last weekend, JT has become the poster boy for bad judgment. Are we the only ones not surprised? The teen heartthrob boy-band graduate is still acting 19.
That same night, he was first warned by the rookie cop (who had no idea he was famous) to stop his trip and call a car or friend to get home safely and let him off with a warning to not drive. He didn’t listen and a few minutes later the same cop witnessed him blowing a stop sign and swerving into the wrong lane. JT failed to walk a straight line or be able to stand on one foot. When he also refused a breathalyzer three times and slurred his speech, that was what got him arrested.
“It’s been a tough week.”
“I’ve had this amazing experience. And as we move around the world I see faces that I’ve seen before,” Timberlake opened his Chicago tour date philosophically addressing his recent transgressions. The fans cheered. Audience phones captured his rambling, emotional comments on video.
“And you know it really washes over me… We have such a special thing. We’ve grown old together.” He continued:
“There are so many of you that have come up to me in the past and said, ‘We’ve grown up with you.’ And I want you to know, I reciprocate that. I’ve grown up with you.” Cheers. And Awwwe.
“We’ve been together through ups and downs and lefts and rights.” Cheers.
“And uh, it’s been a tough week.” Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.
“Sometimes I’m hard to love. You keep on loving me, and I’ll love you right back.” More Cheers. “Now, if you’ll oblige me, I’d like to have a little singalong with you guys. Are you ready for this?” And with that his non-apology was over. The now 41 year old with the man-child outlook then launched into Selfish. A perfect song for his narcissistic non-apology, again.
Anyone know someone killed by a drunk driver? Likely you do. Drunk drivers cause more than 17,000 deaths a year in the US, requiring 310 funerals a week. Making the mistake of drinking and then driving leads to one death every 30 minutes in this country, which is about four times as many drowning deaths as take place — but those have no one to blame. Here, there is a clear killer.
The latest by the apologists is that the cop is known to be over-zealous but we think, one bad call, one stupid drunk driver and it can be all over. Justin should thank the cop for preventing a worse outcome and apologize to his loyal fans and music lovers all over who could have been hurt, or known someone hurt by a drunk driver taking the wheel instead of calling a friend or car service to get home.
Arrested Development Is Nothing New Here
His arrested development first showed up last winter when he took a low road response to learning that Britney Spears had outed their teenage decision to have an abortion, by commenting on stage that he would like to “apologize … to absolutely F—ing nobody.” Where was the Dad perspective that offered empathy and support for the heart-wrenching decision many women have to make when faced with a pregnancy they are not equipped for emotionally, physically and financially?
Timberlake was busted for DWI and his mugshot (glassy bloodshot eyes) and failing a sobriety test (stand on one leg, walk a straight line) tells the story of someone who was drinking before driving. Witnesses later reported that he drank someone else’s drink as well as his own – just the kind of thoughtless behavior you might expect from a teenager or someone arrested development, not a father of two in his 40s with a successful career and public persona.
Gayle King, Billy Joel and others immediately rushed to his defense: “He’s a really good guy”… “Don’t judge lest you be judged.” Maybe so, but again he missed an opportunity to do the right thing. Call a car, get a ride from a friend, or don’t go blotto knowing you have to drive yourself home.
What are we allowed to expect from our cultural heroes, either artists and athletes? For an example of how to be in your 40s, world famous, and a father, look to Roger Federer, who is both gracious and well-loved. For inspiration from someone who has grown up in the public eye, simply listen to Roger Federer’s Dartmouth graduation speech or watch the new documentary, “The Last 12 Days” on Prime.
Timberlake Missed His Chance to be the Good Guy
Back when Britney published her book and told of her painful decision (which she said Timberlake encouraged her to make) to end a pregnancy, we expected more from him. Abortion and parenting effect everyone involved, the man and the woman.
Instead of saying “I apologize to absolutely f—ing nobody,” Justin Timberlake could use his audience of 73 million IG followers to show support for women’s reproductive rights. It’s not too late to make it right. Our advice: Don’t be selfish.
When Justin Timberlake took time during his NYC show last February to say, “I’m gonna take time to apologize, to absolutely f—ing nobody!” he was sending a message that he had nothing to apologize for, when Britney Spears had an abortion some 20 years ago. He signaled that he didn’t want any part of it, today. As a father of two, he is missing the point. He could have made a positive impact.
This was a chance to stand in solidarity with women who have made sometimes painful choices, and who now see their reproductive rights being restricted, revoked and banned across the country. Spears had apologized for writing about ending a pregnancy in her bestselling memoir, The Woman in Me.
Instead of acting in solidarity with her decision when they were both 19 and not ready to become parents, he chose to castigate and swear. All he has to say is: Parenting is a big decision. When you’re a teenager you are still a kid. Men should support women right now, since their rights are being taken away.
Anything along the lines of supporting the rights of women to own their reproductive journeys would have been helpful. He could tag it: #MenWhoSupportWomensRights.
Britney had posted: “I wanna apologize for some of the things I wrote about in my book,” adding, “If I offended any of the people I genuinely care about I am deeply sorry.” When JT made his profane refusal to apologize back, his fanbase defended him for not being more contrite.
But it was a missed opportunity. In a time when abortion rights and reproductive decisions have been restricted or banned in 31 US states, Timberlake could have made a classier move: Make supporting the women in your life who need or want to choose when to become parents a co-ed cause. In other words, tell your 73 million IG followers that you are all about supporting a woman’s right to choose when to become a parent and under what circumstances. And men should help women through these harrowing times by standing in solidarity with them.
Old news still sells new books
Haven’t read The Woman In Me, Spears’ autobiograhy? Neither have we but the press surrounding the release late last year was hard to miss. Britney Spears fans know the details that she wrote about in her book. When she found out that she was pregnant in 2000 at age 19, she said Timberlake wasn’t happy to learn of the situation and told her they were too young to bring a baby into their lives. They were both 19. Quoting the book, Spears writes: “It was a surprise, but for me, it wasn’t a tragedy. I loved Justin so much. I always expected us to have a family together one day. This would just be much earlier than I’d anticipated.”
Then she adds, “But Justin definitely wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren’t ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.” So she had an abortion. It was long in the past. But when the book hit the shelves, this bombshell hit the news cycle and blew up. Spears posted an apology. She also complimented Timberlake’s new music. He then took the stage in New York and told his fans, “I want to take a moment to apologize to absolutely F—ing nobody!” His fans cheered him on and blamed Spears for digging up decades old dirt. It was a missed opportunity.
Our unsolicited advice: JT, you are a father now, a mature person, a beloved and respected artist. Why not use your fame and significant platform of 73 million followers to step up and support women everywhere who are fighting for the right to choose when to become a parent?
Take to Instagram and Defend Reproductive Rights
If a pregnancy is not planned, or not medically, economically or emotionally viable and the woman decides that this is not the time to become a mother, or both partners agree they can’t be parents right now, due to their own age or circumstances, then they should support each other in an often painful decision.
Abortion is a complicated decision. For some people, due to a medical condition or emotional or economic situation, it’s the only choice they feel they can make. Still, the choice of having an abortion is something that lingers, emotionally, for decades. Brtiney, who was 19, writes in her memoir: “To this day, it’s one of the most agonizing things I have ever experienced in my life.”
Nevertheless, the choice needs to be protected, and the decision should remain between a woman, her faith, and her doctor, and possibly her loved ones who may not be able to support bringing a baby into their collective lives. And it it needs to be done safely, under a doctor’s supervision, not outlawed, relegated to the shadows where women feel desperate and will do anything to control their destiny.
Abortion is no longer the law of the land.
Back in 2000 abortion was legal, and protected as a right under the Roe vs Wade decision of 197. Now 50 years later, it is a patchwork quilt of some states protecting these rights and others outright banning them, with a total of 31 states restricting reproductive freedom for women.
State by state, in some 31 states and counting, women’s reproductive rights are being restricted, banned or chipped away at. So far, 15 states have banned it completely, and another 16 have restricted abortion rights. Only 15 states have passed protective laws that allow women to make a decision to terminate a pregnancy when circumstances call for it. Women in states like Texas have to travel to get the care they deserve, and since it has become criminal, doctors and anyone else helping a woman who seeks to terminate a pregnancy can be prosecuted. This is a new dark age.
As painful as the decision was for Spears, terminating a pregnancy in 2,000 allowed her to move on with her life. She and Timberlake stayed together until 2002 and she ended up having her first child in 2005. The same choice – of when to become a parent – is no longer guaranteed for women in this country since Dobbs reversed 50 years of reproductive choice.
When Men Can Support Women’s Right and Don’t, It’s a Statement
We can only wish that JT would have stepped up, these 20 years later, and acted like a grown man instead of a teenager, derisively swearing off an old flame for airing out an old secret. Timberlake’s choice: To be a child or an adult, and contribute in a meaningful way to ensure that all women (and their partners), get to choose when to become parents.
He could have simply said something like: “Parenting is a big decision. Women and men should be able to make the choice of when to start their parenting journey in private, without the intrusion of their government or legislators getting involved.”
It’s not too late, Justin. We love your music. You move people. Now you can move the policy discussion and make good on all your potential, on and off the stage. Don’t be selfish.
Have other unsolicited advice to share? Let us know. We want to hear from you.
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