When I watch Travis Kelce in action, it reminds me of guys who have dated friends who paid for everything (dinners, trips), and I felt they were getting used. Or perhaps you know someone who has dated guys because of the expensive flights, fancy dinners and shopping sprees they get given? It’s not fun to watch.
Spoiler alert: I once told a friend I thought the guy she was dating was not up to her caliber and I regretted it when a few months later she told me they were engaged and ended up getting married. I since learned to keep my mouth shut. But it can be hard to watch if you believe your friend is getting used.
In this case, the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce relationship brings to mind other relationships I’ve witnessed where you believe that one person is in it for the right reason and the other person for the wrong one. So what do you do when someone you care about is being used? It depends on whether they like being used. Sometimes that feeling can scratch an itch you never knew they had. Like being the bigger person, the generous one, the successful one, the cool one, especially if they were never any of these things growing up. Success is more fun shared.
At times it may be hard to separate the person from the perks, if he or she has a big house or bank account or access to PJs. But when you are in it or watching it, the question is whether you say something or let both partis play their parts. After all, they are each getting something out of it. Perhaps the giver is feeling important or cool or like a big shot. The taker is feeling loved and secure and taken care of.
But what happens when either party – giver or giftee –hits a speed bump and wants to slow down? Or what happens if neither of them wants to change the status. Do you stick around and watch? Or decide to not spend time around the couple. That’s up to you.
What People Are Saying About Taylor and Travis
This is not a new story but it is one we are watching writ large on the world’s stage. And it gives me the creeps. From the sound of fan reactions on X and Reddit I am not alone in feeling that this is the situation when you watch Travis Kelce, who may Taylor Swift fans feel is not up to their favorite star’s standards. Many Swifties wish she would shake him off.
What’s wrong with this union? First he shows his anger management issues by shoving and screaming at his coach during the Super Bowl, followed by a drunken post-game rendition of Viva Las Vegas. Then, most recently he appears on stage during night three of the Eras Tour at Wembley Stadium, in top-hat and tails and clods around, smirking before during and after the show. He is making it safe for Bro-y-bros to show their true macho colors.
It all leaves me wondering: Why is Taylor Swift, one of the most talented, brilliant and feminist icons of our day, with this larger-than-life, over-the-top baller who appears to need to dominate every scene he enters? I get why he is with her, since it solves the “out from under the helmet” syndrome of the anonymous player. Endorsement deals, acting parts and audience for his podcast all have come his way. But Swift could choose anyone. It makes he wonder: What’s in it for her?
When The Goodies Are The Goods
Sometimes a relationship has major perks or goodies. It makes it easier to stay, harder to leave and often the glue that binds. This question brings to mind larger relationship issues, ones that plague mere mortals like you and me, our friends and acquaintances.
Such as…. Is he with you for the perks? Are you supplying all the fun, the connections, the trips and dinners? What if all that were not in the mix? How do you separate the person from the premium attractions that come along with that relationship?
Same can be true if you are sticking it out with someone who provides a weekend house, nice vacation jaunts, expensive dinners, fancy cars or taking the PJ to wherever you feel like, just. for fun? What happens if all that went away? I have seen women marry for a business card, then when hubby gets the axe there is trouble in paradise as the prince loses the realm. A king without a castle is less of a catch. In one instance, it took just two years to go from enamored to “over it.”
So here is where we net out. Travis Kelce is in it for all that Taylor Swift has to offer (fame, access, attention, audiences, acting roles and more), but what does Swift get back? Not much, from where some of her fans sit, and they are not happy about it, according to their Reddit threads. These fans have a lot to say about this union.
Reddit Tells the Tale: Not A Love Story
Words like “jerk” and “awful”show up a lot in these Swifty’s threads, as do “he’s gross” and “I never liked him, but now I’ve lost respect for her too.” Kelce’s act of pushing and yelling at Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid during the Super Bowl was the final straw for many. For others it was just one more instance of bro behavior to add to the list of why this guy spells trouble for America’s Sweetheart.
For a full timeline of their relationship from start to hopefully near-finish, Vulture nailed it. It’s easy to forget some of the more cringy moments, so it’s worth a visit.
At the risk of angering all the Swifties out there, note that I am one. That’s why I think Taylor deserves better than this “Big Man On Campus.” It’s like watching your cool artsy friend fall in love with the football player and you just know he is talking about it in the locker room, in ways that would make her write a song about him, after she dumped his sorry ass.
Kelce appears to be using her for fame, which he has little reason to need to do. But there is a different level of access afforded to a six-time Super Bowl ring winner than the level he now finds himself at, meeting the royals and hanging with Tom Cruise at the Eras tour. These social interactions are not likely to even a hall of fame athlete, without the added affiliation with Swift and her famous coterie.
A quick scan of Reddit turns up numerous threads of Swift fans who find Kelce grotesque, unattractive and giving off “weird vibes.” Another calls him a “ticking time bomb, a big one at that” and warns, “Be careful, Taylor!” A sampling:
Does anyone else get weird vibes from Travis Kelce? – Reddit, October 27, 2023
Here’s what this one had to say:
“TBH….. they are polar opposites. TAYLOR, clean looking, calm, educated, likes cats, funny, elegant, came from money and wealth. Pursued her career from age 11. humble, kind heated, overall sweet person and very wholesome. TRAVIS, looks gruffly (to me), loud, curses, does drugs, not very educated, said in a tweet that cats creep him out ( RED FLAG ), not a good roll model ( tells kids that they can flunk school and do drugs and still win the supper bowl twice ), his mom seems negative towards Taylor.”
The comments concurred.
“I do not like him. There. I said it publicly now. I’ve said it to my friend who asked why and I’m like.. really??? He’s like a ticking time bomb. And a very large one at that. Be careful, Taylor!“
Another added:
“My intuition had me doubting him and after the Super Bowl now I just think he’s weird. I think the way he went off on his coach was a huge red flag.”
More than one uses the term “Red Flag.” Since the 17th century a red flag has signaled a warning on the battle field. Now lifeguards use it to signal: Stay away, stay out of the water. It’s a universal warning to protect yourself from looming hazards.
A red flag is also used in football. A coach can ask for a review of play, when challenging a call. We can throw a red flag here, challenging Swift to review the tape, watch Kelce go animal on his coach, and wonder if she wants to confront that puffed out angry face and untethered fury in her future life with a mate.
He has been creating offensive foul after foul. Past tweets by a 21-year-old Kelce reveal the chauvinist within, and while yes, people can change, at 21 Taylor was writing love songs so sensitive they spoke to a generation of music lovers. Here is an example of what Kelce posted in his pre-Taylor early football playing days:
On X. : r/Fauxmoi posted November 15, 2023 ran this doozy from 2010: “As a man, You have something wrong with you if your going for girls that weigh more then you.” Huh? Grammatically it’s a triple disaster and should read: “You have something wrong with you if you’re going for girls who weight more than you.” Okay we just had to mention … But bad grammar is beside the point.
Why do we need a young football player remarking on women’s weight or size at all? What on earth does this have to do with football? Even as a young adult (and at 21 he was an adult) it is possible to be galant, kind and supportive of all women. Presumably male athletes have gal pals, sisters, aunts and mothers, grandmothers, teachers and church or family friends – many women in one’s life who are different sizes and shapes. And perhaps you have been around women like sisters enough know that body type or size or shape is an issue of some sensitivity. So even if you have opinions, keep them to yourself. At least be smart enough to know that unless an utterance on social media serves to figuratively or literally move the ball down the field, which is your job, stay the heck away.
The current comments on this tweet range from accepting that in 13 years someone can change to being appalled that the Chiefs organization had not scrubbed this. A few fans stated that at 21 he should have known better. Before we all excuse bad behavior as youthful stupidity, remember that at 21 Taylor had already written some of her best, most empathetic, insightful and relatable songs.
Next up: New Heights of Attention Seeking
Another Reddit is devoted to the podcast and how often Taylor Swift is a subject of discussion by brothers Jason and Travis on their New Heights podcast. They must know that this is one way to get their content shared across media sites.
Does anyone else find it weird that Jason and Travis Kelce … posted March 8, 2024
Full post here:
Does anyone else find it weird that Jason and Travis Kelce mentions Taylor on every single podcast episode?
“I have noticed that Jason and Travis have mentioned Taylor in pretty much every single podcast episode since the news broke that they’re dating. They also create separate mini clips of them talking about Taylor and post them to TikTok, where they get millions of views.
“Travis most recently went into detail about the his trip to the Zoo with Taylor, which was presumably a date and a very odd thing to discuss so openly.
“Whilst some of her fans see it as him letting her ‘shine’ and being proud of her fame rather than hiding, I personally see it as quite calculated – they know they’re going to get a boost in views and subscribers when they post. They also often shout out the ‘swifties’ – like, this isn’t a Taylor podcast so why even mention her fans so much.
“What do you guys think? Am I being overly cynical?
“ETA for the people who don’t understand my point:
- I am not saying Travis only talks about Taylor on his podcast – I am aware he discusses other topics
- I am not saying Taylor made Travis famous, I am aware he was known before this (but perhaps not on the same scale he is now)
- I am aware that a podcast is planned out and structured and not just a free for all.
“I want to know if people also think that discussing Taylor on the podcast is strategic on their side to tap into the Taylor Swift fanbase for more views, because they also specifically use the clips mentioning Taylor on TikTok to promote their podcast. Or am I just being too cynical?”
Many comments defended him, but this one took a harsher view:
“You’re not cynical, I feel the same. It’s especially weird considering Travis had said on the podcast right after Taylor attended her first game, something along the lines of “Obviously we’re together but I have to keep some things private so I won’t be sharing details moving forward”. And then he proceeds to…share details about the relationship on almost every podcast ep from that point forward.
“The Kelce family to me comes across as a group that loves attention and they know if they keep incorporating and mentioning Taylor, they’ll get it in droves.“
So if Travis gets all the goodies (attention, audiences, acting jobs) from getting out from under the helmet, where does this leave Swift? Used and naive? Or satisfied that the outlier in high school who never fit in finally landed the football star? One thing’s for sure, the NFL understood how to not let an opportunity go to waste.
The Taylor Swift effect: ‘Miss Americana is turning Travis Kelce …Posted October 2, 2023.
Most comments on this thread are positive, noting Swift’s ability to bring young female fans to watch NFL games. But one fan suggested a more sinister force at work: That the NFL is using Taylor to turn football watching into a family affair. It’s true that dads are delighted their 12-year-old girls suddenly taking an interest, wearing Chiefs jerseys and learning the rules, watching games, even if it is just for a chance to see Swift rooting for her man, alongside bestie Blake Lively. Comment:
“I’m still totally unease with how the NFL is trying to fish money from her like this”
For other examples: See more results from www.reddit
We’re not saying we don’t want T-Swift to be happy, since of course we do. We love her hopes and dreams for a “Love Story” but perhaps one theme in her music is constantly choosing the wrong guy, leaving relationships feeling she deserves better. We agree, again. Kelce is playing from the playbook, but his talents on the field are not on the level as hers as an artist, performer and one-woman industry who can fill stadiums by herself. While he executes the plays, she is writing the entire play book and then revising it every year or two. Taylor Swift doesn’t just play the game, she created it.
We wish her the best. But in the opinion of many fan, the best is better than Travis Kelce.
As for you? Don’t stick with someone who you sense is using you, even if in the moment if feels fun to be used. Eventually the scales will tip and you won’t want to do it anymore. Then what happens? Usually a split. Find a two-way relationship and someone who is there through thick and thin, and be that for them, too.
Bottom Line: If you think a friend’s relationship is not healthy and you have the guts to tell your friend, approach it carefully. I once told a good friend that I didn’t think the guy she was dating was up to her standards and she married him. Oops. I since learned to keep my mouth shut. Taylor, do you, and feel loved. But if this goes the way of the other relationships and becomes a song (or album) I won’t be sad to see him go.
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