by Lucy Danziger
I just saw Dr. Sanjay Gupta, the MD who is the medical face of CNN, do a story on his excellent series “Chasing Life” about how decluttering can help you live longer. We agree, and here are tips for cleaning out and up to lower your stress today! Watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s Story here.
All I want is less. Less stuff and less stress to go along with it. That was my reaction after watching The Minimalists: Less Is Now, the 2021 Netflix documentary that follows one person’s journey (who teaches it to a friend) into the benefits of minimalism. The spark for his awakening: Having to clean out after his mother dies and leaves a brimming houseful of stuff, including his childhood art and report cards. She wanted to hold onto these even though she never looked at them, he explains, as a way of holding onto a time of joy in their lives. I relate.
I could also relate to the painful, months-long disassembling of a parent’s possessions since I had to do the same after my mom passed away. I made the decision then and there – sorting through 45 years of her “important” papers, hundreds of pens with her name on them, bags of mini-flashlights, balls of rubber bands, drawers of plastic bags, closets stuffed with clothing not worn in years, artwork of her own and others (she was a painter), and countless “meaningful” souvenirs from all over – to never make my kids do the same for me one day.
Why clean out: Not only does your space look larger and you can easily put your hands on long-lost favorite items that you may not have seen for months, but there is evidence that clutter causes stress and that living with less clutter and mess creates calm, not just in your surroundings but also in your inner mental processes. Plus – and here’s the zinger – it will help your relationship!
Clutter-Free Living Is Better for Your Relationship
Studies show that a clean, junk-free environment helps us breathe easier and feel less weighed down by our worldly possessions. I can attest to this. Every time I clean out a drawer, a closet, my shoes, my vast sweater collection, or a medicine cabinet, I feel like I breathe easier and think more clearly.
When my spouse leaves his clothes on the couch, the chair, or anywhere other than his closet, I get that pressure in my chest that I recognize as the precursor to nagging him to please clean up (I say asking, he says nagging. I tell him it’s easily avoidable, whatever you want to call it). The stress is real. Here’s why:
Clutter and mess causes cortisol to rise more in women than men, according to research. One study of dual-income couples found that women living in cluttered or messy homes had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol than men and experienced more symptoms of depression. So when your honey leaves stuff all over and you ask him to clean it up, you can explain that this is going to make you calmer and less stressed, and that’s better for both of you!
I highly recommend you get inspired by watching the documentary, Less Is Now. It’s fascinating how minimalism triggers more calm and happiness. My friend got rid of one item for everything she bought. You don’t have to swear off shopping, just invest in quality items that enhance your life. Then discard or donate the things that no longer reflect your future goals and lifestyle.
How to clean out your closets
Pretend you are going on a long trip. Pack everything you love and put it in a large suitcase (or two). Then pretend you are moving. Take all the rest of your clothes out of the closet and clean the shelves and floor of dust. Unpack your trip suitcase. Everything else gets thrown out or given away. Have trouble being brutal about your decisions? Ask a friend to come over and help you.
Helpful rule: If I haven’t worn it in six months, it goes into a large black garbage bag and to the Salvation Army. I have been cleaning out closets, drawers, kitchen drawers, bathroom medicine cabinets, and more. Ironically the hardest things to chuck are things I have been given either as swag or as gifts. Why is it free stuff is hardest to part with? Because everyone assigns it a value and that gets wiped out when you throw it away. Instead, give it to someone who will value it; that keeps the value intact, just passed along to a new beneficiary.
Bottom Line: Less is more, now and later. Once you give yourself the gift of clean, uncluttered surfaces and drawers, closets, and cabinets, you realize that you deserve to live this way all the time. Convince your honey of the same!
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