| By Lucy Danziger |
Instead of Saying “I Have to” Try Changing It to “I Get to” and See What Happens. I used this with my kids when they were little. Instead of “I have to go to work, and you have to go to school” while getting up and ready for the day, we used this: “I get to go to work, and you get to go to school.” Implication: We are so lucky. Most days, it worked. The toughest mornings were “back to school” or back to the office after a lovely vacation. Not all the moms went to a job, my kids pointed out. True, but I liked to tell them that working is a privilege and the key is finding a job you love. Our take: Feeling grateful can be simpler than you think. Try this: I get to walk the dog in the cold, dark, rain, and freezing snow. I get to go for a run, no matter how much I want to sleep in. I get to go to the gym although that’s the last thing I feel like doing. I get to eat healthy food, even if I crave some old-fashioned junk food. I get to earn a paycheck which allows us to take vacations or save money. This is not always easy. When my mother suffered from advanced dementia for many years, I had to remind myself to say, “I get to go see my Mom.” This was painful, since watching someone you love most dearly slip away day after day – unable to communicate or get better – was a form of slow torture. But once she was gone I could look back and tell myself I was the best daughter I could have been. No regrets. This helpful reminder to use “get to” as a mind shift and gratitude booster comes from @coachundemane on IG. Thank you. We are now following you for more great advice. Bottom Line: You don’t need a gratitude journal or major time commitment to feel better every day. Just a simple word shift. Instead of Saying “I Have to” Try Changing It to “I Get to” and See What Happens. I used this with my kids when they were little. Instead of “I have to go to work, and you have to go to school” while getting up and ready for the day, we used this: “I get to go to work, and you get to go to school.” Implication: We are so lucky. Most days, it worked. The toughest mornings were “back to school” or back to the office after a lovely vacation. Not all the moms went to a job, my kids pointed out. True, but I liked to tell them that working is a privilege and the key is finding a job you love. Our take: Feeling grateful can be simpler than you think. Try this: I get to walk the dog in the cold, dark, rain, and freezing snow. I get to go for a run, no matter how much I want to sleep in. I get to go to the gym although that’s the last thing I feel like doing. I get to eat healthy food, even if I crave some old-fashioned junk food. I get to earn a paycheck which allows us to take vacations or save money. This is not always easy. When my mother suffered from advanced dementia for many years, I had to remind myself to say, “I get to go see my Mom.” This was painful, since watching someone you love most dearly slip away day after day – unable to communicate or get better – was a form of slow torture. But once she was gone I could look back and tell myself I was the best daughter I could have been. No regrets. This helpful reminder to use “get to” as a mind shift and gratitude booster comes from @coachundemane on IG. Thank you. We are now following you for more great advice. Bottom Line: You don’t need a gratitude journal or major time commitment to feel better every day. Just a simple word shift. Want more great life advice? Sign up for The Advice Pages Newsletter here. |
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