Coming back from Easter Sunday church service, I am trying a new approach. It starts with the word peace. The word peace came up a lot during the hour inside the church. Not as in, the opposite of war, but as in: Peace be with you. I thought about this since my natural state is stressed, rushing, tight chest (shallow breathing) and often blurry eyed with tasks and to-dos that keep me racing through my day. I rarely if ever feel the sensation of inner peace.
When I do stop an take a breather, it’s often in front of the TV where the news of the world makes my stress levels go up. Whether it’s the circus-like politics of the day, a bridge collapsing, a policeman being shot, or a house fire leaving families homeless, or the latest death and destruction in Gaza, the news is a place of harrowing tales of woe. We wish Peace to all those effected by war, conflict and aggression. That is not the kind of peace we can necessarily control in our lives, today. (And is a topic for another conversation, albeit an important one.)
My life is so driven by stress that I worry I am addicted to it. Stress has always been useful to me, since I work on deadlines, worry about the need to pay the bills, and am constantly seeking new assignments, clients, consulting work and ways to improve the ventures I have going. Each day my to-do list is long. I wake up and face deadline pressure, as well as the need to work out (also a form of pressure, though self-inflicted), new unexpected bills, and other must-do’s. Most days I race from one thing to the next and never, ever think: Take a breath, choose a window to just… Be.
I envy the meditators, the walkers, the folks who can allow their minds to wander. I want to be one of them. Once upon a time biking served as a moving medication but ever since breaking a bone I am forced to bike inside on a trainer stand. It’s a lot less zen. Walking for me involves the dog who is either pulling or halting to sniff, either scoping out squirrels or looking to jump railings to go off leash and off piste (as it were) and not stress free. Running is equally fraught since I have a bad knee that sends the signal “Ouch ouch ouch” with every step until I get sufficiently warmed up, then I compare myself to my former fitter self. Not peaceful.
So finding peace – as a mindset and a stress regulator – is my new goal for Spring. I am resolved to clench my jaw less often, not work so many hours that I have to squint at the computer to focus. Or breath shallow tight breaths that ultimately leave my blood pressure set to high. It’s a beautiful Sunday, a perfect day to go to the beach and find peace walking by the ocean (my favorite natural environment which serves to immediately ratchet down the stress).
Walking by the crashing waves allows your body to breathe in the negative ions that get released when the water hits the sand, and those enter the bloodstream and lock onto the free radicals that cause cellular aging, stress and inflammation. So walking by the ocean is a great way to hit reset. But how often can one do that? I also want to find peace in the every day tasks such as loading the dishwasher, making the bed, showering, and quiet moments in between the deadlines.
Inner peace is a higher level of calm and hate it when someone tells me to calm down. It’s usually my spouse and it makes my blood boil and steam come out of my ears (metaphorically speaking). I hate being told to calm down. In fact when I get stressed out or upset, it is often a motivator and helps me problem solve.
My brain is not trained to work when I am calm. I am so enured to working by entering a stress-state that I practically think I need stress in order to get sparking – writing, editing, and publishing – so trying to start from a calm state or peaceful outlook is going to be a new reality.
But Easter is a day of new beginnings. I woke up thinking: Fresh start, count my blessings, feel lucky, loved and so fortunate to have my health, my loved ones and my family. To that I would add: Feel the peace within, and bring a peaceful perspective to your interactions. Breathe, let your mind and your muscles relax.
Here is what I am trying to do, and I would be curious if this resonates with you: Breathe deeply, clean the slate, the mind and some time in the schedule. See what can happen from there. Perhaps I will find (and you will find) that a clean slate is as powerful as a long to-do list. Let’s see where this peaceful outlook leads. Instead of mistaking busy as productive, or active as superior to passive or mental activity as better than a mental pause, choose the momentary opportunity to just be. Try taking the approach that life doesn’t have to be stressful. It can be calm.
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